Honouring your parents in Islam: practical ways to show kindness every day

Parents are often the people we love the most and, at times, the people who test our patience the most. They may live with us, far away, or no longer be with us. They may be easy to talk to, or the relationship may be complicated.

Islam places kindness to parents at the very heart of good character. This article looks at what the Qur’an and the Sunnah say about it, and gives practical, everyday ideas for honouring your parents, whatever your situation.

How important is kindness to parents in Islam?

A companion once asked the Prophet ﷺ which deeds Allah loves most. His answer placed kindness to parents right after prayer:

“I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) “Which deed is the dearest to Allah?” He replied, “To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.” I asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents”…

That order is striking. Among all good deeds, being good to our parents comes immediately after the prayer.

What does the Qur’an teach us to say to our parents?

The Qur’an teaches both an attitude and a dua:

وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرٗا

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”

The image of “lowering the wing of humility” is gentle and beautiful: approaching our parents with softness and mercy. And the dua at the end of the verse is one we can make every day.

Why does the mother have a special place?

The Prophet ﷺ was asked who deserves our best companionship the most:

In meaning (our summary, not a word-for-word translation):

A man asked the Prophet ﷺ who was most entitled to his good companionship. He answered, “Your mother.” The man asked who came next, and he again said, “Your mother.” The man asked again, and he said, “Your mother.” When the man asked a fourth time, he said, “Your father.”

This hadith honours the mother’s sacrifices, and it also honours the father, who is named right after.

Practical ways to honour your parents every day

These suggestions are practical ideas, not religious rulings. Choose the ones that fit your family.

Speak gently

Tone often matters more than words. Answering softly, even when you disagree, is one of the most visible forms of kindness. Avoid sighing, rolling your eyes or raising your voice.

Call, visit, ask

A short call, a message, or a visit means a lot. Ask about their health, their day, what worries them. Many parents simply want to feel remembered.

Help in practical ways

Help with errands, paperwork, technology, appointments or housework. As parents get older, these small services become real gifts.

Listen to their stories

Parents often love to share memories and advice. Listening patiently, even to a story you have heard before, is a quiet way of honouring them.

Make dua for them

Use the dua from the Qur’an above: Rabbi irhamhuma kama rabbayani saghira, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” It takes seconds and can become a daily habit.

Thank them

Thank your parents for specific things they did for you. Words of gratitude often mean more to them than we imagine.

What if the relationship with my parents is difficult?

Not every family is simple. Some people carry deep hurts from their childhood, live with constant conflict, or have parents who ask them to do things that are wrong. These situations are real and painful, and they deserve personal guidance.

If you are in this situation, please speak to a qualified scholar you trust about your specific circumstances, and, where needed, to professionals who can support you. If you are in danger, your safety comes first: reach out to someone you trust or to local emergency services.

In everyday tensions, small steps can still help: choosing a calm moment to talk, setting kind but clear limits, and continuing to make dua for them.

What if my parents have passed away?

Many people feel a deep sadness at no longer being able to serve their parents. You can keep honouring them by making dua for them often, by remembering them with love, by being kind to their friends and relatives, and by living by the good values they taught you.

A small daily habit

1. Each day, make the dua from Qur’an 17:24 for your parents.
2. Each week, call, message or visit them with no request, just to ask how they are.
3. Each month, do one practical thing that makes their life easier.

Small, steady acts of kindness can soften even tired hearts, including our own.